Repeat

Here we are again!

History repeating itself.

Deja Vu x2

Life on repeat over and over.

And you know how I feel about “again”

I know I’m not the anomaly. Sure I’m quirky, but this is just a fact. We are all on repeat. The entire earth has been playing this show in repeat. Over and over as it repeats itself. Even if you have “rare” things happen, you find out that this is someone else’s story too. Heck- I saw a whole floor at Sloan Kettering hospital with my story.

And the world is not different.

The same story, the same narrative. Sure the names change, the weapons change, but nonetheless we’ve done this all before. There is nothing special about our plight. It is still the story of one civilization in arms against another. Another story of a hurricane that came out of nowhere. Another story of love lost.

There is no new narrative, just new characters.

You may take issue with it. That you are not doing things again, but I bet you are. Just record it. You will see the patterns. The same behavior again and again. I have a running document and here I am. I even try the same things to get better.

I went fast.

Fast helps.

When your body has been living in fight and flight for over 2 years, it takes a lot to feel.

We did it again. We stole away Steve and I. It was a complete fog. We could not see 20 feet ahead of us. We had to use GPS even to know which way was home.

And we sat in our dingy. We sat bobbing in the fog. Just the two of us. Completely alone and I had one request FLOOR it. FLOOR it. And stupidly we went. Blaring into the fog. At any minute capable of running into something or falling out ourselves. Irresponsibly fast.

It felt like a novel ride, but I know better.

I’ve been here before. I’m know it for a fact- I recorded it

But there are moments that are frighteningly the same. So eerily similar. That it even startles this girl.

And there it was…we have been here before. The location different, Greenwich that time, Montauk this time, but yet the same need- to escape. The same wish- DANGER please let me feel again. And the same ending- a sailboat in the distance. Just sitting there in the middle of a body of ocean, surrounded by fog.

One could say it’s a coincidence, but we all know those don’t exist.

Those aren’t real.

It’s just life on repeat.

But why? Why all the repeat?

As an educator I have a guess and it is just that a guess. But maybe because that is how we learn. Mastery does not come from one experience, but from many.

So how do you stop the repeat? TO LEARN. To not allow AGAIN.

So I take notes and I read my notes.