People have been asking about my cadence of writing. How it can be in spurts and then silence...
Some of the cancer moms inquired because it's the silence that scares them as we have entered a new “season” of the cancer journey. Just like in your 20s when you were on the wedding circuit, at a certain point in the neuroblastoma journey, most of the kids relapse. Most of the kids diagnosed when Jacob was, are relapsing. But I am just praying Jacob is the bridesmaid, not the bride.
Please know this, if God Forbid Jacob relapsed this would be the FIRST place I will go.
However, the pain of, not only, watching the world burn, but watching pediatric cancer survivors relapse, truly brings me to my knees.
As there is something bigger with a relapse. These children KNOW. They are older and understand what lies ahead. They walk in knowledgeable unlike the last time and most likely have googled their disease by now. “Am I going to lose my hair again?” "What about the baseball team?" These are questions that were not asked the previous years.
But what scares me the most is the child’s mental state. The placebo effect is VERY real (and I’ve written about it several times, example here). I do think pediatric cancer has had many miracles due to this effect. That these young children can’t comprehend what they are fighting. When you give them “magic medicine” they 100% believe that it is truly magic. Why wouldn’t they? You are their mom and dad. They got a "boo boo" and they got cancer. Boo Boos and cancer were equivalent for Jacob. He did not know enough to differentiate them.
Thus, this relapse season, I am sending strength to all of my cancer moms and dads out there. While this relapse time can be harder on your child, just know that you can handle it.
This time around you KNOW more too.
This time around you know you CAN beat the odds.
This time around you know you CAN get your child through this in one piece (if not stronger and better than before).
This time around you know the tools are BETTER than last time.
This time around you know your way through a hospital cafeteria knowing EXACTLY what line to get into.
And this time around you know me and all the other cancer families standing right next to you.
Sending STRENGTH to my cancer community this “season”
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