As I’ve written before, when you are struggling to find the words, it is often because someone has already written them.
Often we think our human experience is unique, that no one can understand our pain. Or even the assumption that you can’t relate to my pain—that I’ve been through more than you. And while maybe you haven’t lived through something as horrific as pediatric cancer, I promise you, you can relate. Pain is pain.
The struggle for words has been looking for the rights ones to express how I have been feeling about a new topic for me… happiness, lol. 💗 Truly, I’ve never been so happy. My children and husband are healthy. Life is good, and I feel at peace for the first time, both professionally and personally.
It has been a rough decade, but one thing I know is nothing is certain. Only this very second is certain, and look, that’s gone. Life is a game of uncertainty; the pendulum can and will swing. And look how it has for me. In both the negative and now more recently the positive. I have been so blessed these last few months, and I am thankful.
I’ve been struggling to express this feeling of incredible gratitude, because it is never that easy. It never is. Turns out happiness comes with a large side of fear, because I’ve been here before. I know better than to try to predict. I know better.
So please, G-d, light, whatever creates the math and patterns in the cause… Please. Don’t. Take. THESE BEAUTIFUL THINGS THAT I GOT.
Thank you, Benson Boone, for the words. Yes, I’ve taken some lyrical liberties and adopted this song to how I feel it, but the credit is all yours, thanks for the tunes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For a while there, it was rough But lately, I've been doin' better Than the last forty four cold Decembers I recall . And I see my family every month. I found a boy my parents love. He gave me two kids, And I think I might have it all. And I thank God every day For the family you sent my way, But I know the things you give me You can take away And I hold you every night. And that's a feeling I wanna get used to, But there's no woman as terrified As the woman who stands to lose life. Oh, I hope I don't lose you (LIFE) Mm Please stay I want you, I need you, oh God Don't take These beautiful things that I've got Please stay I want you I need you, oh God Don't take These beautiful things that I've got Oh-oh-oh-oh Ooh Please don't take I found my mind, I'm feelin' sane It's been a while, but I'm finding my faith If everything's good and it's great Why do I sit and wait 'til it's gone? Oh, I'll tell ya, I know I've got enough I've got peace and I've got love (HEALTH) But I'm up at night thinkin' I just might lose it all Please stay I want you (LIFE), I need you oh God Don't take These beautiful things that I've got
Comments