Karma

We have an additional family member. We actually have many. Every nanny/ housekeeper, etc has run back to our family. Some have even volunteered to quit their jobs and donate their time. One refuses to let us pay her and she is living with us. And some of these we have fired.

I can’t imagine this is the norm, but it is in our norm. Every person who has cared for my children is my sister/brother and I treat them as such. I’ve always treated them with kindness and the ultimate respect, trust. Just like a teacher.

Trust is hard for a lot of you.

I watch it daily. And I get it. There are some TERRIBLE stories filling our heads, but if you look at the data, not the news, you will see an opposite story. A narrative of a world (and I use “world…as OUR world, USA), just getting safer. Trusting those who care about your children and showing them that you do, pays off. sometimes this person was exactly what your child needed. Sometimes they can show you things. You know it takes a village right? So why are we trying to do it alone? Or just our way?

Trust is a big problem we all need to overcome.

But I’m learning that trusting people, pays forward. Look at what love. Our family needed help and they just ran. “KK” is a Buddhist. She is a pretty remarkable woman. She lives her creed. She is without wants. She lives for the greater purpose that is not valued in any currency. She talks about cleansing me of bad “thoughts” bad “wishes.” I believe she is talking about karma.

Karma = the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence viewed as deciding their fate in future existences.

She asked me to think about all the people that may have wished me harm so she can cleanse me.

And if anything can help my son, I will do it. Tell me to stand on my head and bawk like a chicken. DONE.

So I took this task seriously. I started listing them in my head. I was listing and listing.

Listing and listing.

I think there are people who have wished me harm at some point in my life for a variety of reasons. Do you feel the same?

I wish there was a way to collect this data. Do all of us moms and dads suffering over hardship of the innocent (example: sick child) have “bad karma?” Wouldn’t that be an interesting thing to study.

I even counted one DEATH THREAT. Yes, I have even received a threat, a death threat against me and my children. That happened once. Do you think that parent was asked to leave? Nope. I actually think I was concerned I was going to be fired.

I have read anonymous surveys where people say horrible unkind things, “parent surveys.” The biggest blow “Abby Brody is the female version of Trump.” I cried over that one…for about a week.

That one felt really low. Sorry Republican friends. This is not an attack on his policies (which I do NOT agree with. We can debate that), but rather it felt like an attack on my character, which I think we can ALL agree is not Trump’s best asset (pun intended as he doesn’t seem to actually have any real assets! OMG! Double pun. “real assets” Real estate assets…okay maybe I’m pushing it, but I crack myself up.

I digress…

Back to the bad karma.

I’ve had to say hard things to parents. Hard things that they don’t want to hear.

I get it. My own kid had to leave Avenues. He wasn’t thriving there and I know that every child has different needs. Don’t think this was an easy thing for me. I may “know better” than most parents about the importance in finding the educational setting your child will thrive in. It’s about finding YOUR school, but still it sucked. I loved Avenues. Poured my time and soul into it and Benno wouldn’t be a benefactor of it.

But I get it now more than ever.

When we got his news. I wasn’t too kind to the doctors that told me. I screamed in their faces. I screamed. I’ve been at the end of that scream so many times over such smaller things, but there is no such thing as small when it comes to your child. Everything feels BIG because they are so small.

And now I think a lot about karma.

I think about the power of other’s to alter your life. Not sure where I land on it. Just sharing what I’m thinking about right now. I’m thinking about how we cut each other down instead of filling each other up.

Especially women.

I’ve never understood this. Women can be so vicious. They reek of jealousy and have the maternal instincts to kill. So basically they are capable of killing anything that comes in the path of their child. With no concern of lion attacks, they have replaced that with not getting into the robotics time slot they wanted.

Hey that energy has to go somewhere!

But can it go to something that matters?

But can we try harder?

I’m trying harder. I will do better next time I meet with you. I’ll listen more. I’ll gossip less. I will be present instead of thinking this is the twelfth meeting of the day. I will customize to your needs by being more aware of those needs.

In return…can you be kinder? Can you not cast harm?

It’s just bad karma.